Marriage is one of the most sacred and beautiful institutions that God has established. It is a union between two individuals who come together to form a lifelong commitment of love and devotion to one another. Yet, despite the sanctity and beauty of marriage life, many Christian marriages still end in failure.
The Bible provides a clear and comprehensive understanding of the reasons why marriages fail and the guidance that helps prevent this from happening. This article delves deep into the heart of the matter, exploring 12 prevalent causes of marital failure and proffering practical solutions for overcoming them.
1. Lack of Communication
When couples stop communicating with each other, it can lead to a breakdown in the relationship. The Bible says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
Make time to communicate with each other regularly. Put away distractions and listen to each other’s thoughts and feelings. Pray together regularly and share your hearts with each other.
2. Infidelity
When one partner is unfaithful, it can be a devastating blow to the relationship. The Bible says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4).
If infidelity has occurred, seek forgiveness and restoration through prayer and counseling. Work on rebuilding trust and be accountable to each other in the future.
3. Money Matters
Financial problems are a major contributor to the breakdown of marriages. Whether it is because of overspending, mismanagement of finances, or disagreements about financial goals, money can put a significant strain on a relationship.
Couples must work together to establish a budget, set financial goals, and learn to live within their means. It is also important to seek the help of a financial advisor when necessary.
1 Timothy 6:10: For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.
4. Lack of Intimacy
A lack of physical and emotional intimacy can put a strain on a marriage. The Bible says, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:3).
Couples must prioritize intimacy in their relationship and seek to create a strong emotional and physical connection.
5. Different Priorities
When partners have different priorities, it can create conflict and disconnection in the marriage. The Bible says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Have open and honest conversations about your priorities and find ways to compromise and support each other in achieving your goals.
6. Unresolved Issues
When issues are left unresolved, they can fester and create resentment in the marriage. The Bible says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).
Couples must work to resolve conflicts as soon as possible and seek the help of a counselor when necessary. It is also important to practice forgiveness and strive to maintain a positive outlook on the relationship.
7. Inadequate Quality Time
When couples do not spend enough quality time together, it can create a sense of disconnection and lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
Couples must prioritize spending quality time together and make an effort to connect emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It is also important to make time for activities that both partners enjoy and find meaningful.
Ephesians 5:21-33
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
8. Unrealistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations can be a major challenge in marriage. When couples expect too much from each other, it can create disappointment and lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
Couples must be realistic in their expectations of each other and strive to maintain a positive outlook on the relationship. It is also important to communicate openly and honestly about expectations and work together to find solutions when necessary.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
9. Lack of Emotional Support
A lack of emotional support can lead to a breakdown in a marriage. When couples are not emotionally supportive of each other, it can create distance and lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Couples must work to provide emotional support to each other, listen actively, and express empathy and compassion. It is also important to seek counseling when necessary to improve emotional intimacy skills.
Galatians 6:2
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
10. Differences in Lifestyle
Differences in lifestyle can be a major challenge in marriage. When couples have different views on things like work, play, and social activities, it can create conflict and lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
Couples must work to understand each other’s lifestyles and find ways to support each other. It is also important to communicate openly and honestly and strive to find common ground when necessary.
1 Corinthians 7:17
17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
11. Selfishness
When one partner is selfish, it can lead to conflict and dissatisfaction in the relationship. The Bible instructs us to put the needs of others ahead of our own.
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
12. Parenting Differences
When couples have different views on discipline, education, or other parenting matters, it can create conflict and lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
Couples must work together to establish a common parenting plan, communicate openly and honestly, and support each other in their roles as parents.
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
13. Not Seeking God First
One of the main reasons marriages fail is due to the lack of giving priority to Godly matters. When couples do not seek God first in their marriage, it can lead to a lack of spiritual intimacy and disconnection. The Bible says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33).
Make God the center of your marriage and seek Him in all areas of your life. Read the Bible together and pray together regularly. Attend church and serve together.