When Robert Hoge was born, his mother was expecting her fifth healthy child as the prenatal ultrasounds looked normal. Despite the mother’s choice, Robert was born with a huge tumor in the middle of his face and both of his legs were deformed.
Upon hearing the description about her son’s appearance from her husband, Robert’s mother refused to look at her baby. When she was about to go home, she decided to do so without him.
Robert’s mother started visiting him at the hospital regularly, but she still couldn’t accept him as her baby and take him home. She even told his sister that “He is so ugly.” But gradually, she tried to find out what was stopping her from loving her baby.
One morning, the family voted to decide whether or not to bring baby Robert home. All his four siblings supported him, and that was the day Robert joined the family. But even then, his mother was struggling to accept his appearance. She noted it in a blue diary. It’s really heartbreaking for most of us to read the cruel thoughts of a mother about her own baby. But Robert felt quite differently. He regularly asked his mom to read her diary to him, and it made him the courageous and inspiring man he is today.
Robert received some of the most advanced facial reconstruction surgery ever done in Australia. When a reporter approached Robert’s family to do a story, Robert recommended that he avoid his mom’s part of negligence, but his mother wanted to include that portion to help others in similar situations to find hope rather than shame.
Robert Hoge — married and a father of two — was a journalist and a well-respected political advisor. Now he encourages others as a disability advocate and inspires everyone with his memoir named Ugly.
This man was neglected by his own mother just because of his appearance. But instead of feeling defeated, he found the strength to accept his differences and define himself.
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